02 Mar When You Are Fake The Universe Knows
When You Are Fake The Universe Knows
When we are FAKE the universe knows. Ok universe I FINALLY hear you. It took ANOTHER injury.
About 3 years ago I went from on top of the world to what the heck is happening?!
My business started to have financial struggles.
My marriage started having some significant issues.
My health started to decline…hello lower back disc rupture.
All 3 of these things had to happen FOR me to get my attention to pivot and change my ways.
I dove into it all:
Therapy
Personal development
Spiritual
Seeking.
I started to truly LIVE
I embraced new directions and concepts
I changed my thoughts and actions.
I deeply connected with new people
And I held onto the concept of SURRENDERING vs CONTROL so much so that I tattooed the word surrender on my arm (how controlling of me)
But here is what was still FAKE AS F and never fully happened. I did not fully SURRENDER or let go of my controlling ways.
I felt called to a much bigger purpose but kept playing small and safe with the familiarity of comfort and CONTROL
In Costa Rica I had space to get out of my head and really grab my purpose. I affirmed every day that I am ready to step Into my next chapter. AND- in Natalie fashion I tried to CONTROL the change.
The universe had a bigger plan for me. What’s the saying? “We make plans and god laughs?” As I jumped into the water by the water falls (after an intention exercise that declared bringing me into my next chapter) I tried to surrender while still controlling- I was holding on super tight out to fear and…
I tore my bicep. On my RIGHT ARM – the masculine side. The control side. Dang. A fricken distalbiceptear.
I’ll be in emergency surgery this week to repair it. It’s looking like Wednesday night. Yup I know this is my THIRD Surgery in 12 months.
First the basal cell
Then the laser endoscopic on my back
And now thanks universe I GET IT FOR REAL. It’s like “oh ok NJ, you don’t want to slow down with your face and your back try this!) I’ll be in a cast for 8 weeks w/ no driving, no typing, no traveling, no stages. And no lifting for get this… 6 MONTHS
I will be canceling a lot on my “controller schedule” and guess what. I’m FINALLY SURRENDERING.
XO,
Natalie Jill
